


i just wanna see the stars (with you)

by kritiquer



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Carry On Countdown 2019, Constellations, Domestic Bliss, Fluff, M/M, Stargazing, baz does not know anything about constellations, but simon does and baz loves listening to him talk about them, coc 19, i posted this back in january but here's an updated version
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22137877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kritiquer/pseuds/kritiquer
Summary: He remembered being seven, six, five, staring up at the same sky with a painful, hopeless knot in his chest, never feeling so unsure of what was going to strike his life next. And he looked up at the same, glittering stars now, and then focused on the hand rubbing small circles on the side of his neck. And wasn’t he ever so lucky, the stars seemed to say, winking at him with their tell-tale eyes, that he wasn’t that miserable little boy anymore?or, Simon and Baz stargazing
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 18
Kudos: 97
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	i just wanna see the stars (with you)

When Simon was a child, he fell in love with the stars. Silly as it seemed, he sought comfort in knowing they were always there, watching over him through their blinking light and showing up almost every night without fail. Simon had never had much stability growing up, and the stars stayed the same wherever he went, as if they had chosen to remind him that sometimes, things _would_ stay the same. He loved the moon a little less, but only because it was less reliable than the stars. When he was slightly older he learned the phases of the moon and began to keep track of them, but the moon never quite caught his attention the way the stars did. 

At the first care home he’d gone to, one of the older kids--perhaps the only one that hadn’t dismissed Simon immediately--had noticed his interest in the stars and softly taught him the constellations. He spent hours memorizing their locations until he could recognize them in a heartbeat, and kept the knowledge with him wherever he went. 

“Simon? Why are you up?” A hand softly touches his hair, before wrapping itself around his shoulders. 

Simon leans into the touch, but doesn’t turn his head away from the stars. Even now, years after he’d stopped being the child enamored by the moon and its stars, the night sky pulled him away from his thoughts, even if only for a bit. In these moments he could forget about the Mage and Ebb, dismiss the mess strewn about his life and lose himself in the constellations and their stories. 

He remembered being seven, six, five, staring up at the same sky with a painful, hopeless knot in his chest, never feeling so unsure of what was going to strike his life next. And he looked up at the same, glittering stars now, and then focused on the hand rubbing small circles on the side of his neck. And _wasn’t he ever so lucky,_ the stars seemed to say, winking at him with their tell-tale eyes, _that he wasn’t that miserable little boy anymore?_

“You see that cluster of stars over there?” he points, and at Baz’s hum continues, “that’s the first constellation I learned. Isn’t it beautiful?” 

“What is it?” 

Had he found it, then? The one thing he knew better than Baz, who somehow knew everything about anything, and was close to becoming a walking encyclopedia he loved to pieces. 

“Ursa Major. You see, and that’s Ursa Minor,” he explains, and sees Baz squint at the sky. 

“Isn’t that just the Big Dipper?” 

“Well, the Big Dipper’s actually just a part of Ursa Major.” 

Baz nods, before leaning down to rest his chin on Simon’s head, and wrapping his arms around his neck. 

“Maybe sometime I’ll tell you the story behind them.” 

“I’d love to hear them, Simon,” Baz responds. “I never knew you were into astronomy.” 

And Simon doesn’t know how to explain it, the strangely familiar feeling he gets when he looks up at the starry sky, doesn’t think he could put the feeling into words without ruining it. So he simply shrugs and smiles a little, but Baz smiles back as if he understands, and Simon thinks that’s enough, for now. 

He pulls on Baz’s hand, allowing him to sit comfortably beside Simon. The window is cool to the touch as he traces along it, naming constellations as he goes. He doesn’t think Baz is paying attention, not really, based on how he keeps glancing over at his face, but Simon continues, glad that he can share the constellations with him anyway. He feels his cheeks warm slightly when Baz traces a fingertip across the moles strewn on his face, and whispers that _they’re his own constellations,_ confirming Simon’s suspicions that he had been staring at him the entire time instead. 

“You know, I always thought you were the Sun,” Baz says softly, letting his hand fall away from his face and intertwining his fingers with Simon’s instead. “Shining so bright and full of life.” 

And just for a second Simon looks away from his stars and at Baz instead. The moonlight softened his face, casting a dewy glow on his skin. He was just as beautiful as the moon, Simon realized, the stars slightly reflected in his eyes as they flickered across Simon’s face and waited for his reaction. 

_How could he ever have loved the Moon less?_

“And now?” he asks finally, moving away from the window and closer to where Baz sits, a blanket wrapped loosely around his shoulders. 

“Now I see you’re both.” 

“Both?” Simon echoes, and Baz nods surely. 

“You’re the Sun with your stars strewn about, as if they can’t bear to be apart from you. A true mixture of them both.” 

Simon grins, and shifts until he is leaning on Baz’s chest, his head tucked under his chin. If he had said something like that during the day Simon probably would have chuckled and teased him for being properly sappy, but the night washes over both of them and shares its sentiment, changing the atmosphere and making his words sound much more serious. And anyway, Baz was only ever this sappy when it was late or during special occasions, and he couldn’t help but think this was both. Distantly he remembers what Baz had said to him many months ago: _You were the Sun, and I was crashing into you._ It had sounded beautiful but painful, and so Simon doesn’t mind being a bit like the stars instead. They had brought him comfort, and wasn’t it lovely to think he could do the same for Baz? 

“I never thought of it like that before,” Simon admits, and feels Baz chuckle. 

“When do you think?” Baz teases, and Simon scoffs, too tired to think of a proper response. 

“Stellar response, Simon,” Baz whispered. 

“Stellar, is it?” 

Baz laughs, and Simon grins as he wraps the blanket around them both. Simon looks back up at the stars, his tell-tale stars for eternity, softly blinking back at him; they continue to cast their familiar glow on them both as he resumes showing Baz the constellations, and in this exact moment, Simon doesn’t think he could be happier. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, feel free to let me know what you think :) i'm sourcherrysconess on tumblr, come say hi!


End file.
